Yet Another Call to Action...

"For unnumbered centuries of human history the wilderness has given way. The priority of industry has become dogma. Are we as yet sufficiently enlightened to realize that we must now challenge that dogma, or do without our wilderness? Do we realize that industry, which has been our good servant, might make a poor master?"  ~Aldo Leopold

I know that I have always been conscious of the quiet, but steady destruction of wild places that human consumption necessitates, somewhere in the back of my head there has always been an awareness that natural places that I have known and loved in my life will not always be there.  Its a reality I have been uncomfortable with for a long time, but one that I know I thought, and I think most people think, that they can do nothing about.  How does one person stop the inevitable grind of progress in defense of the wild places they have come to love?  This is an adversary against which the average person cannot possibly compete, right?  But in my more recent work I am beginning to discover the ways in which each of us, in our own way, can make a difference.  I am finding them, and I want to share them, because this is a fight that is truly worth fighting, not just for the environmentalists and the outdoors enthusiasts, but for everyone and let me tell you why.  

I recently listened to an episode of the podcast called "Too Much Information" with Benjamen Walker called "4 Big Ideas From Sept 17th, 2012" and I highly recommend it to everyone, and I mean everyone, not just environmentalists, even though I know that my audience of the 4 people who read this blog is heavily biased on the environmental side, please share this, because this matters.  It's about the book Small is Beautiful by the British economist and author E. F. Schumacher and it talks about economics of scale.  My favorite quote from the episode is by the author Andrew Sims, who says: 

"If a business goes bankrupt you can set up elsewhere, if the biosphere, if the ecosystems upon which we depend are bankrupted through over-exploitation, well, there might be no coming back from that."

I love it because I think it completely explains the sense of urgency I feel about protecting the planet that we depend on, not just because I am a nature-loving tree-hugger, but because I can see that in a very fundamental way this planet sustains us, and if we don't take care to preserve at least some of it, eventually we will bankrupt it.  Consider this statistic:  According to the Pew Environment Group 6000 acres of open land are lost each day...each day!  That is 2.19 million acres of land that are lost each year, every year or alternatively 250 acres per hour...until somebody says that's enough.  I'm saying that's enough now.  We cannot live as though our resources are infinite, we cannot assume that growth is always the answer.  Try to imagine a world with no open spaces, no wild lands, no wilderness.  It should be unimaginable, because it is illogical and unnatural, but I've met people who say they would prefer it.  I think this is a preference borne of a lack of understanding.  

So what can you do to help change this?  

Educate, teach your children about the environment and wildernesses that you love, your parents, your friends.  Talk about it, tell people why you care.  I can't help but be passionate about these things, and it just bubbles out of me all the time.  Ask any one of my friends, I am one of the most annoying hiking buddies ever, because I just spout information about ecosystems, air quality, endangered species, habitat loss, and anything else that pops into my head.  I can't help it, but I like to think that every once in a while I inspire someone else to care, and that is the best outcome that I can think of.  

Support, not everyone wants to do the kind of work that I do, and that is absolutely fine.  Not everyone has to, but if you support the efforts that people in my line of work are making, show it.  I know so many people who agree with what I do, and congratulate my efforts to protect these wild lands, but getting people to lift a pen and share these feelings with others is like pulling teeth!  Writing a letter to the editor, blog post, facebook post, or tweet about a local wilderness area that you love can be so inspiring to someone like me who spends their days making efforts that most people never even notice.  Like the Campaign for America's Wilderness on facebook, find the person closest to your area who is out there inventorying public lands to find eligible wilderness areas and shake their hand, write them a thank you letter, or donate to their organization.  Write to your congress person urging them to give lands near you wilderness protection.  These things can take 5 minutes, but if you don't show anyone that these issues matter to you, no one will ever do anything about it.  

Warning: Shameless plug of my own work to follow...

If you are in Wyoming, have traveled to Wyoming, or want to travel to Wyoming, consider doing me the favor of writing something about your appreciation of the lands that I have inventoried.  If you hunt in Wyoming, consider voicing how crucial winter ranges for big game need better protections so that there will continue to be healthy populations of game for sport hunting.  If you appreciate desert landscapes, consider writing to the to a local paper and expressing how important it is that we realize deserts are not simply wasted space, sitting on top of possible energy reserves, but are instead valuable habitats and ecosystems.  If you like backpacking and back country camping, write to your favorite magazine or publication urging readers to recognize that many of the areas they enjoy are not yet protected, and could in fact be developed at any time.  

Do something!  Do anything.  Express what you care about in your state and why to anyone that you can, because tomorrow's 6000 acres could be the forests and fields of your childhood, and if you stay quiet today you'll forever regret it when that fateful tomorrow comes.  

"The most striking thing about modern industry is that it requires so much and accomplishes so little. Modern industry seems to be inefficient to a degree that surpasses one's ordinary powers of imagination. Its inefficiency therefore remains unnoticed."  -E. F. Schumacher

In the wake of Sandy

It happened during Irene, and now once again I am far away when disaster strikes the East Coast.  My thoughts and prayers are with my friends and family, and really everyone effected by this terrible storm, and the chaos it has left in it's wake.

I was in the Red Desert for work on the night that Sandy hit New York and New Jersey.  It was very surreal, sitting in the peace and quiet of the desert, listening to horrifying reports of the destruction on the radio.  I hate the feeling of helplessness such an experience causes, I have many friends who live and work in and around the New York Metropolitan area and I didn't even have a way to contact them from my campsite in the desert with no cell phone service.  You were all in my thoughts, and I am facebook stalking you all diligently, now that I have returned to civilization.  My heart goes out to the families of those who did not survive the storm, I can't even imagine what you are going through, I keep you in my heart daily.

Because once again I am unable to volunteer my time to relief effort (and my time is what I have the financial capacity to be the most generous with) I am hoping instead to inspire a few others to help.  Please check out the Corporation for National and Community Service Website, who provide an easy to understand list of ways that you can help through volunteering, monetary donations, donations of items, and donation of blood, compiled directly from FEMA.

A special thanks to all of the AmeriCorps Members donating their time and efforts to Sandy recovery, I have a great respect for the AmeriCorps program and all that it does for our communities, environment, and people.  Over 800 AmeriCorps members have been deployed to aid in the Sandy relief efforts, if you happen to see one out on the ground, please thank them and commend them on their service.  For more information about the involvement of AmeriCorps members check out the National Service Update. 

Here are some of the organizations I know of that you can support:

Karma Cat and Zen Dog Rescue Society

The Staten Island Marathon for Sandy Relief

The Steven Stiller Tunnels to Towers Foundation

You can also always donate through the National Donations Management Network or the Red Cross

Thanks for reading, and please give if you can, any and every amount is appreciated.

Wilderness

I have been on hiatus for....oh since about the day that I got to Wyoming and moved into a truck in the Red Desert.  My truck-inhabiting days are coming to a swift close though, thanks entirely to the Wyoming winter that dropped 8 inches of snow on us over the last 2 days.  So now I feel it is time to share some stories of my wilderness inventorying and of what this has all come to mean to me.  First, a bit about what I really do, because I have come to find out that many of you have no idea, and that is okay!  I am quite happy to educate you all!  Below is an excerpt from an article about my work that I wrote for the winter newsletter sent to members by the non-profit I work for, Biodiversity Conservation Alliance, to read the whole thing please consider joining BCA and supporting the great work that we do!

"Even those who are conservation minded don’t always have a strong grasp of what a wilderness inventory is, and why they are important.  So what do I really do?  I map routes, roads, and human influences in otherwise predominantly un-human influenced areas.  Why does this matter?  Because if I can prove that these areas possess “wilderness characteristics” such as outstanding opportunities for solitude and primitive recreation, than I can potentially be a catalyst in their lasting protection, and what more can I give to the generations to come than the joy of a wild place preserved?"

So this is what I do in a nutshell, but what I really seem to do is take a lot of photos of roads and change a lot of flat tires.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job, it is perfect for me, I love the challenges and the beauty, and the fact that I have the real potential to bring about lasting change for at least 5 small corners of the beautiful Wyoming Wilderness.  And I am really good at changing tires.  Here's the wonderful part, I think when you are doing good work, good things come to you, and although I have had 3 flat tires in the course of this summer, at least 2 of them happened at just the right time.  By this I mean that when I am in the desert I rarely have cell phone service, and I tend to stay out for between 4 and 8 days at a time, i.e. longer than the accuracy of the weather forecast that I checked before I left.  Rain in the desert means slippery and dangerous roads and no chance of getting any work done, not to mention a greatly increased chance of getting stuck. The second to last flat tire that I got forced me to leave the desert 4 days earlier than planned, but just in time to miss 3 straight days of rain.  The last flat tire was this Sunday night, in the dark I might add, and it sent me into town 6 days early and just in time to find out that 3 cold fronts were headed right for me; dropping not only temperatures, but also several inches of snow.  So I appreciate my flat tires, for all the trouble that they have caused, I suspect that they have saved me from quite a bit more.

Plus I love the challenge, changing a truck tire is no easy task, and I've had some doozies, tires so flat that I can't fit a jack under them, in darkness, and rain, and cacti were often involved.  Every time I finally get through changing a tire I feel like a rock star; yeah, I just did that, all by myself, and I could do it again if I wanted to.  I love that, almost as much as I love the feeling of completing an inventory, now that is a victory.  By the time I am done with an inventory, I know every route, road, fence, and structure on a property; all the folds of the topography, and all of the property bounds.  I can navigate like a pro, I can hit any little 2 track road, no matter how small, and know exactly where I am, I can point to every hill I hiked and every arbitrary property line that I surveyed.  I love that, I love the feeling of accomplishment that comes with the completion of something like that; yeah I memorized those 12,000 acres, and now I'm going to go do it again with 10,000 more, no big deal.

It's not all fun and flat tires though, the advocacy side of things (what I'm getting into now, since my field work is wrapping up) is a challenge of another sort.  The term wilderness means different things to different people, and many tend to visualize pristine mountain streams and dense forests when wilderness is brought to mind.  That's great, because those are wildernesses and also deserve protection; but a desert is too, although many have trouble recognizing this as wild land and not waste land.  The definition of wilderness that I follow comes from the Bureau of Land Management, because they are the ones who will make the call as to whether the land that I wish to protect qualifies for wilderness protection, but folks who have no experience in wilderness designation and its official definition tend to have a definition more like this one in their heads:

wil·der·ness  (wldr-ns)
n.
1. An unsettled, uncultivated region left in its natural condition, especially:
a. A large wild tract of land covered with dense vegetation or forests.
b. An extensive area, such as a desert or ocean, that is barren or empty; a waste.
c. A piece of land set aside to grow wild.
2. Something characterized by bewildering vastness, perilousness, or unchecked profusion: the wilderness of the city; the wilderness of counterespionage; a wilderness of voices.

I resent this definition, especially part 1.b., which describes wilderness in deserts as "barren," "empty," and "a waste."  These are the attitudes that I face in my efforts to encourage others to protect these areas, a sentiment that there really isn't much there worth protecting.  It's not their fault, usually they have never been, have no idea what is or is not there, and some of them don't even know that Wyoming even has a Red Desert, at least not beyond the run down gas station at the Red Desert exit on interstate 80.

There is a lot more to this area than what can be seen from the I-80 corridor, acres and acres of beautiful buttes and sage brush country, wild horses and pronghorn herds, startlingly beautiful sunrises and sunsets, million upon millions of stars in the night sky.  These beautiful natural treasures are slowly being encroached upon by various energy and mineral extraction developments in such volume that it will take decades for the land to recover, if ever.  Below is a picture of the Jonah Field, the poster child of inefficient and destructive energy developments, from The Daily Climate.  This is the kind of development that I wish to prevent.  Don't get me wrong, I am not "against" the energy industry or fuel extractions as a practice, I am a realist and I know how heavily we depend on them in every facet of our lives.  The goal of my work is not to stand in the way of energy development (wilderness designation is one of the few designations that protects land from energy and extraction based leasing) but I am hoping to encourage innovations in smarter growth and development.  In short, I know I'm not going to stop the interested companies from getting at the fuels in the earth underneath my proposed wilderness areas, but at least I can ensure that in order to get at it they have to be smart about it and not destroy the land above it.

So this is my life these days, each day a wonderful adventure trying to protect the Wyoming wilderness.  Obviously I am enjoying it, but I am also saddened by it too, the mere fact that I need to fight the fight that I am fighting means that despite how far we have come as a society, in general people still forget that without this beautiful planet we would be nothing.  Nature has created a perfect, balanced system all on its own that we are slowly taking apart, one piece at a time; the least I can do is to try to be the proverbial barefoot hippie girl, trying to hold my ground against the bulldozer of development.

"The outstanding scientific discovery of the twentieth century is not television, or radio, but rather the complexity of the land organism. Only those who know the most about it can appreciate how little we know about it. The last word in ignorance is the man who says of an animal or plant: "What good is it?" If the land mechanism as a whole is good, then every part is good, whether we understand it or not. If the biota, in the course of aeons, has built something we like but do not understand, then who but a fool would discard seemingly useless parts? To keep every cog and wheel is the first precaution of intelligent tinkering." 

-Aldo Leopold

On the road again...

As you all know, because you all follow my blog religiously, both of you, I set out about 2 weeks ago for the great state of Wyoming to get started on my new and exciting JOB.  The trip was a brief 2000 miles, and I spent 11 days on the road visiting and adventuring before I arrived here in Laramie on Monday.  Here is a brief summary of the excitement I encountered on my way:

I left home at the bright and early hour of 8 am on Friday to travel the short 2 hours to Plattsburgh for a day hike with a few dear friends...with my life in my honda civic I said some last minute goodbyes, filled my gas tank, and drove as far as one town over before I realized something was terribly wrong...

I stopped at 2 garages before I found one who had time to look at my car, and he spent 5 minutes in it and told me I needed to replace my wheel bearing, and probably the whole hub assembly on the rear wheel of the passenger side.  Sweet.  Could he do it?  No.  He had no openings until the following Thursday, by which point I was supposed to be in Ohio.  Cool.  Some frantic phone calls to my father and I had a lead, a garage who could get the part and do the work that day!  Back home I went, with my car full of my belongings, to sit on the couch and fend off a nervous breakdown for a few hours.  I headed to the garage at 2 and was all set by 20 after, it was very quick...and then I was on my merry way.  I got in my car, started it up, and drove away, listening carefully for any signs of distress from my vehicle.  Blessed be, all I could hear was the normal tire noise, muffler noise, and lifter noise...nothing else.  My little car was back in action!  

On the road again I sailed right through the town after mine, and almost made it all the way through the next town before disaster struck once again, this time in the form of a yellow flag marker from near by construction...glued to my back tire...with some tar...and...whats this?  A nail.  Super.

Laughing at the ridiculousness of my life, because there was really nothing else to do at that point, I hauled everything I owned out of my trunk, dragged out my jack and tire iron, and took a knee in the gravel on the side of the road in my sundress and proceeded to loosen my lugs and jack up my car.  A friendly stranger stopped to help me and then my pops came along and collected me and the punctured tire and whisked us off to the nearest repair shop to get my tire patched.  Reveling in the insanity of my life, I reattached my plugged and patched tire and stuffed all of my crap back into my trunk, and hit the road for the third and final time.  I was on my way...for real this time.  

I arrived in Plattsburgh that evening and met up with two of my girlfriends for drinks and snacks and bananagrams, then took off again at 8 the next morning for Westport where I met another friend for a beautiful hike of Coon Mountain.  After our hike it was back in my little Rambling Rose (thats my pet name for my civic) and on the road for Albany to meet up with some college buddies.  I met them at a pool party/BBQ and relaxed a bit.  During my stay in Albany I went full moon kayaking, picked berries, baked a pie, went to the drive in, and had a blast.  

After Albany I hit the road once again, this time for Buffalo, NY to visit a combination of highschool and college friends, where I had a strange experience at a restaurant bar that begged us to come in and swore it was clean about 30 times in the 15 minutes we were there, went to the zoo, saw some concerts and fireworks for the 4th, and swam in the cloudy brown, but deliciously refreshing, waters of Lake Erie.  On the 5th I piled myself back into Rambling Rose (who now seemed to be emitting some new rattle...) and drove to Euclid, OH to visit a friend from wayyyyyyyyyyyy backkkkkk (23 years of friendship...and counting!) where we played with ponies, walked around town, met some new friends, and just had a downright wonderful time.  

From there I headed for Chicago, to have a lovely lunch with my darling Peace Corps Sitemate and then it was back on the road and through a crazy downpour lightning storm, to a little campground found for me by a friend just past Davenport, IA.  I snuggled up in my tent and contemplated the new terrible noise coming from the underside of my hood while drifting off to sleep.  In the morning I gassed up and hit the open road again, pushing my limits and driving to a mall outside of Lincoln, NE for lunch and then on to the little town of Ogalalla, NE for the night.  By then I knew something was wrong, there was exhaust coming in through my vents, the rattle was worse than ever, and my car seemed to be putt-putting a lot more than was normal.  My father begged me to have it checked out, so at 8 am Nebraska time, on the day I was scheduled to arrive in Laramie, there was Rattleing Rose, up on a lift, in her 5th garage stop of the trip.  It took them in hour and a half, but it was a cheap and easy fix (to stop the putting and exhaust leak at least, I still have to deal with the rattle...) and I was back on the road by 10am, hitting Laramie, WY just after 1pm.  I realized I had never written down the address of my new workplace and called my mom to google it for me, then I wrote down the address and phone number, parked Rattling Rose, and headed off on foot for the first day of my new adventure.  Eyeing the numbers on the buildings as I passed, I finally spotted 215 - this was it!  Only...wait...this is a jewelry shop.  Fantastic.  

Fortunately I had gotten the phone number too, so I called the office and was given instructions to the door...finally, I had arrived!  Really arrived!  I made it!

So here I am, living temporarily in the basement bedroom of a friendly co-worker until I find a more permanent home, learning the ropes of my new job and slowly recovering from the altitude sickness that I somehow forgot all about, even after experiencing it in Tahoe.  So friends and family, I made it, safe and sound, and I'm very excited to share more stories of my very exciting new job, but for now I think I'm going to take a nap...

Time flies when you're unemployed...

It is almost July...did you know that?  Why didn't anyone tell me?  Once again I haven't written anything in weeks, but this time I have a series of perfectly valid excuses for my lack of updates....for one, my brother got married again to his beautiful wife, Hsiao-Han, this time in VT (where our family is) because last time it was in Taiwan (where her family is) and then there was a small one in NC (where they met and live) so they owed us a wedding, since everyone else got one.
I was in the bridal party, and I had a blast welcoming my sister-in-law to the family once again.  It was a beautiful ceremony up at Trapp Family Lodge in Stowe on a beautiful spring day with lots of friends and family and I don't think the day could have been more perfect!

Excuse number 2:  I PASSED THE FE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (And I was so excited when I got my little "You are now officially an engineer-in-training" certificate in the mail that I couldn't do anything but smile and jump up and down for days, and the jumping made typing difficult.)  I got myself a bottle of classy bubbly and toasted my new title (Shelby A. Perry, E.I.T.) with some good friends and had a "Shelabration!"  So hey, that's awesome....and makes me feel like I didn't just waste the last couple months of extensive studying....

Excuse number 3: I was unemployed.  I know typically that means that you have more time, but in my case it meant that I did more hiking than I have done in ages, volunteered a whole bunch with the Conservation Commission in Johnson, applied to the 2 or 3 jobs per week that I found interesting (I have the patience to be picky in my job hunt and I have decided that my happiness is worth it), and found new and interesting things to cook, bake, and create.  I put all that free time to good use until it wasn't all that free anymore, which is the way it should be.  Annnyyyywayyyy, all that being said, somewhere along the way all of that job applicating paid off, which brings me to excuse number 4:

I.  GOT.  A.  JOB.  About a week ago I got a call from one of the positions that I interviewed for and really really wanted, and guess what!?!?!  They wanted me too!  So now I'm hitting the road, actually in 3 days, for the mystical and exciting land of Wyoming!  That's right, I'm moving from the second least populated state in the country to the very least populated state in the country...raise your hand if you didn't see that coming...yeah...that's what I thought.  

Sooooooooooooooo as you can see my life has been quite busy lately, and is only going to get busier, as I pack up my life and move back into my Honda Civic for the 2000 mile trek out to Wyoming.  I am so incredibly excited (although I am quite sad to leave Johnson, which has grown on me lately) to start my new adventure!  Wish me luck and get excited!  As usual I have been baking up a storm, because packing is boring and I would rather feed my friends that pack my bags.  I have made a few repeats (these cookies and cream cheesecake cupcakes went over well with my friends here, I (of course) made truffles, and for my brother's stag party I repeated these Irish car bomb cake balls) and a few new ones, like a blueberry knotweed crumble for the conservation commission meeting and a (and this one is an original, wrote the recipe myself....) Maple Bacon Cheesecake that came out pretty okay if I do say so myself...the recipe is to follow.  Wish me luck on my new adventures, pictures from the road to come...  

Maple Bacon Cheesecake:

Crust:

about 4 cups graham cracker crumbs

bacon grease from half the bacon

a few tablespoons of butter (until you reach the right consistency)

Dash of maple syrup

about 2 pieces of maple bacon

Filling:

4 8oz packs plain cream cheese

1/2 c sour cream

4 eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 c grade B maple syrup

Topping:

4-5 pieces maple bacon, cooked crispy

1-2 tbsp brown sugar

Combine crust ingredients in food processor and press in bottom of greased 9 in spring for pan.  Beat filling ingredients together until smooth, pour over crust and bake for 50 minutes at 350 degrees.  Remove baked cake from oven and let cool/set 10 minutes on a wire rack, filling will settle down into the pan.  Chop topping ingredients together in food processor until small bacon bits are evenly coated with sugar, sprinkle over cheesecake after it has cooled for 10 minutes.  Let the cake with topping cool in the hot (but off) oven for 1 hour, transfer to a wire rack until it is room temp, then cool in fridge over night if possible, but at least 4 hours.  

I don't have a picture of it being enjoyed because it was so delicious I literally could not stop to take one.  Sorry, maybe I'll make it again so you can see the end result.

Make Time.

"You'll never have time if you don't make time."  A good friend once shared that piece of wisdom with me and I take it with me wherever I go.  

Life moves quickly, things change, people change, things are not always what they seem.  This weekend I lost a friend, a wonderful and well-loved person.  Life got in his way, he was lost and unable to see what he meant to all of those around him, and we forgot to make time to show him.  Several years ago I lost another friend in a similar set of circumstances, he too was crushed by what I can only imagine felt like an unshakable weight, an insurmountable wall.  Both times that my life was colored by these tragedies I was taken completely by surprise - I literally had no idea that these friends we feeling as hopeless and alone as they must have been.  It hurts me to know that my friends were hurting and I could not see it, I feel blind.  In a world where technology has created a false sense of connectedness, you are able to feel close to your friends without being close, geographically.  I realize now that I have "friends" whom I haven't spoken to in years and yet I know what they're doing because I visit their blogs or facebook pages every so often.  I feel that I still know them but I do not, I felt that I still knew him, but I did not.  

Why is it so hard to show we care?  Why is it so hard to show we're hurting?  Why is it so hard to ask for help?  Why does this world make some people choose death over life?  Both of the friends that I have lost were some of the most caring and loving people I have ever known, to me, and to others.  They were the givers, the supporters, the ones with such open hearts that they could understand the difficulties of their friends as if they were their own.  In hindsight I wonder what a burden that must have been for them, feeling all of my pain on top of all of their own.  In hindsight I wonder if they ever felt that I was there for them in the way that I felt that they were there for me; I wonder, did they even know how much I appreciated how they were there for me?

In tragedy one can lose themselves in questions of why and what-if, of did they know's and how come's.  The brain likes questions, it wants to solve problems; and when faced with an unsolvable problem, an irreplaceable loss, the questions continue, because they have no answer.  The greatest question that loss always inspires is "did they know how much I loved them?"  Love is a funny word today, the "L" word has acquired a strange weight that seems to make people afraid to use it liberally; which is sad because liberal use of the word is something many people need more than ever right now.  I love all of my friends, but I don't tell them that often, not nearly as often as I should.  We say things like "I love my new car" and "I love my new phone" but somehow we shy away from that word in relationships outside of immediate family and serious romantic partners.  What are we afraid of?  

Life is fickle, it can come and go in an instant.  Make time to be with those you love, be there for those who need you, tell people what they mean to you, and most of all let them help you when you need help.  Answer those questions that loss inspires now, so that they do not hang over you, unanswered, somewhere in your future.  

ED May 19th, 1986 - May 12, 2012

ML May 6th, 1983 - Nov 27th, 2005

I love you both, more than I ever told you...I hope somehow you know that now. 

To any of my friends (even those I haven't met yet), if you are ever hurting tell me.  If you are ever lonely, call me.  If you are feeling hopeless, show me.  I will never laugh at you, only with you.  I will never belittle your problems, I promise.  I will listen to all you need to say.  You are not alone, you are never hopeless, you are forever loved.  

Visit the International Suicide Prevention Wiki to find resources in your local area.  

This cake has balls!

Since my last post was a long winded rant, I figure it's time for a lighter, happier post about one of my favorite topics:  sweets.  In my adventures throughout the blogosphere I have started seeing cake balls all over the place.  I've seen a million recipes, and even purchased a gift box of them from Etsy.com to send to a friend in FL, but I've never had one and I've never made one, until now.

Today is a friend of mine's birthday so I decided to bake a cake, but then I found out someone else is already baking him a cake, and not one to be outdone, I decided to make sure my cake had balls...cake balls.  On St. Patty's day this year I made Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes to bring to a friends house, and so I had the better part of a bottle of Jameson and some Emmet's Irish Cream Liqueur still hanging around my house (I managed to take care of all of the Guiness without a problem though...) so I decided to continue with that theme and make Irish Car Bomb Cake Balls, but because this friend is an avid beer fan (and home-brewer) I decided to use a local brew instead of Guiness, and went with Rock Art's Stumpjumper Stout, which has a nice bold flavor that would stand up well in the dark chocolate cake.  Here's whats fun about cake balls:  It's like making a whole cake, but then you get to smoosh it!

I took the recipe from here but basically, I cheated and bought a boxed cake mix this time...making the process much easier and cheaper, but using the Stout in place of the water.  Bake that up in any shape or size you see fit, let it cool, and them smoosh the heck out of it!  Beat up a basic buttercream frosting, using the Jameson and Emmet's for flavoring, in place of vanilla (add to taste, about 3 tbsp Emmet's and 1 tbsp Jameson).  Add the cake crumbs to the frosting bowl and mix as you go, until well combined.  Scoop out onto cookie sheets in ~2 tbsp size balls and pop them in the freezer for awhile to harden up a bit (I left them in there over night).  Next melt up some chocolate to dip the frosty cake balls in, the recipe called for white, I did about half and half - one bag of white chocolate and one bag of dark covered the whole lot.  What an interesting treat they turned out to be!  I'm bringing them to the birthday party tonight, hopefully no one else will like them and I can bring them all back home.....just kidding!  :-)