this is what zero degrees looks like

happy holidays!

Days Left: 363

Photos Posted: 2

one photo a day project

I've been thinking about this blogging thing a lot lately, for a number of reasons. First because I know my reading audience pretty well (All 3 Aunts, Gramma, Eleanor, Mom...thats about it..) so I can tailor my posts to things you might be interested in hearing. And also because its been a nice outlet for me personally to vent my frustrations, share my experiences (both in this small town and also in West Africa), and to say thanks to those who have been there for me through it all. That said, I'm kind of bored of it...mostly that my stories just aren't as interesting as they used to be back in Mauritania. (A word of warning to prospective Peace Corps volunteers: Peace Corps might very well be the best experience of your life so far, but it has had a tendancy to make all that comes after seem to fall a bit short...all I want now is another ADVENTURE)

So what can I do now? I don't want a boring job...I know I know, no one does, but lately I've just been feeling like a 9 to 5 desk job would crush my spirit...I'm just not ready to grow up, settle down, be responsible, or any of those things. I have slowly come to realize that I am at a crucial point in my life: I have more freedom right now than I will likely ever have again. I can move anywhere, do anything, be anybody. Throwing a dart at a map and moving there is certainly on my list of things to do, moving to a different city every month sounds fascinating, traveling overseas again is extremely appealing. I need an adventure, a new big thing. These start with baby steps: I'm currently working for the 2 weeks leading up to Christmas as a UPS Driver Helper, delivering packages to the good people of the towns surrounding my house. This is for the money, which I need badly. I am also selling handrolled homemade truffles and cookies to my friends and coworkers of my parents (A special thank you to my number one customer: Dad. You're the best!) I also have started an Etsy shop, I put an add for it on the sidebar of this blog if your curious, but you can also click here. where I am trying to sell my photography and some other stuff I've thrown together...this venture is not doing so well but I don't currently have the time to put the effort into fixing that. So whats next?

Onto my newest experiment. I want to update this everyday with a thousand words...better known as a picture. My rules for myself: One photo a day, taken that day, posted that day or as close to the taken date as possible. Photos of any subject, any style, as long as they are taken that day. Starting today.   This is more interesting than wordy explanations of the nothing that I have been up to, faster, and will force me to work on my photography everyday.  It will also allow me to take you all with me on my next adventures, where ever they may be. 
Days left: 364
Photos Posted: 1

Puppydog Eyes

Happy Holidays!

Here it is, damn near the middle of December and I'm still unemployed...who'da thunk it? Not I, thats for sure. 6 months ago my life made sense, I was starting a big project that would hopefully be saving the lives of undernourished infants in the city that I lived in and perhaps eventually in that entire region of the country. 6 months ago I was learning and improving my ability to speak my second and third languages, building a network of contacts in my community and all over the country of Mauritania, planning trips to Mali and The Gambia, pinching myself every night because I never imagined that my life would lead me there, and thankful every day that it had.

Fast forward to today.

I still pinch myself a lot, because I just can't believe how much everything has changed. I spend my days baking, reading, watching TV, doing yoga on the living room floor with my dogs chewing on my hair, and looking for jobs online. I'm less thankful now, for the way things have turned out, because I'm not anywhere near where I wanted to be at this point in my life. I'm getting emails and phonecalls informing me about the death of my beloved dog in Mauritania, and then later and even more heartbreaking, the death of my sitemates youngest host sister who was no more than a year and a half old. I look at our flat screen tv's and stereo systems and refridgerator and computers and I feel like I should be so thankful for all that I have here, but being here, surrounded by it, only makes me greedy for more. My laptop died and I want a new one, my camera is filled with saharan sand and I'm pining for a new one, my phone freezes up because of its old age and I can't wait for the new contract to begin so that I can replace it. These wants, this greed, this never existed for me in Mauritania. When you are surrounded by the incredibly poor you inevidably look at yourself as crazy rich, even if the only thing that sets you apart is the freedom to buy 1000UM phone cards whenever you want when the locals can only afford 3 or 400UM every few months, and always during a bonus.

This might not make sense to some of you but I wanted to try to express some of the conflict in my head right now, if for no other reason than the potential that putting it into words could help me learn from it. This holiday season I want to make sure that I am thankful for the right things, that I don't let my greed get the best of me with mile long wish lists that would make even the most lavish holiday fall short of expectations. It's not what you give that makes christmas special, its not about the best gift, the prettiest tree, the brightest lights, the most decadent feast. It's about the warmest heart, the biggest smile, and being together. This year I feel incredibly undeserving of all the wonderful things my family has done for me, helping me with my car, my cell phone, and supporting me for 6 months when I'm just plain not doing anything for anybody. This year I'm happy to have my family around me, my friends support and love, my Mauritanian family and friends, who are all in my heart right now even though I still haven't found the strength to call them. This year I'll have a white Christmas, watching the snowflakes fall always helps to calm my mind and bring a smile to my face.

So this year, during this magical season of falling snow and twinkling lights, I ask only this: When you have a complaint on your lips, about anything at all, stop it before it comes out and replace it with something that you are thankful for, because we all have a lot, even my friends over there living in the sahel with no more than a mud brick hut and a cooking pot, we all have something to be thankful for. I promise that I will do my best to do the same, I promise to do my best not to whine about my unemployed loafing lifestyle thats just plain driving me crazy, I promise to try not to mention that some of my clothes don't fit, because I have clothes, I promise to try not to complain about my dead computer, because it was alive and served me well for nearly 6 wonderful years so what more can I ask of it? I promise to remember that now I have a bed and a bedroom, a family who loves me, more food than I even need or could ever eat, a winter coat, a wonderful little car that gets me where I need to go, and so much more.

I have complained a lot since I've been home, I've complained about listening to other people complain, I've complained about what I have and what I wish I had and what I don't even really want. I've complained about not being able to afford the life I'm living, when the ones paying for it aren't complaining at all. I've been ungrateful, and negative, and sad since I've been home and I just need to stop. Its no ones fault that I am where I am and no one deserves to listen to me moan and groan. Furthermore I have realized that my complaining makes others feel bad, inspires a feeling of helplessness in myself and those around me, makes people consider things they wouldn't normally offer, and I am totally undeserving of their charity.

So thats my promise and my gift to the world at large, to try my best to cut it out, and I hope you'll all join me in dismissing our complaints, whatever they may be.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Bonne Tabaski pour les Mauritaniens, and Happy Holidays!

one step forward and two steps back

I have my second round interview scheduled for Americorps and some possible advancement in the job hunt (too early to tell, but I'm optimistic) I'm wading through peace corps paperwork for denied claims from doctors and dentists, primarily because the offices submitted the claims without the paperwork I gave them authorizing the claims, frustrating, but easy to sort out. I'm making headway in the kitchen with a batch of successful homemade peanut butter cups, thumb cookies, and mocha fudge, new soups of my own made up recipes, and other such delights. So with all this going pretty well, something must be going wrong right? I wish i didn't have to have that point of view but its true.

I have a few (4-6) painted "tableaus" that i brought home with me to sell for a friend from Selibaby. They were hanging in a cafe in town and i was told that 4 of them were sold and the rest would hang until they sold, except they have been taken down, i have only been paid for 2 and the woman who was supposed to buy the other 2 has evidently changed her mind...so I told my friend they were pretty much sold and he gave me a shopping list of things we would like (printer ink, and paper) me to buy him with the profits and send to his friend in France who would bring them to him when she visited. Unfortunately I missed the deadline, the friend has already visited and now I have to send them to him in Mauritania and run the risk of them getting lost in the Mauritanian postal service all because in 3 months I couldn't get my butt in gear and sell 8 paintings...so if anyone is interested in some genuine African Art painted by my friend Demba, who lives in Selibaby but is originally from Mali, please let me know and I will send you pictures of the ones I have left. They are pretty big and will be sold for a donation of somewhere between $20 and $30. Please let me know, I don't want to let him down any further!

Home Again!

I got home last night, after exactly 2 weeks on the road visiting friends in NY and Ohio. I had a wonderful trip across 3 states, visiting 8 friends (and making a few new ones!), 7 bars, countless restaurants, millions of rest areas, and spending a total of 22 hours in the car singing along with my music. In the mean time a few updates have come up in the job hunt:

1) I got a second round interview for the Americorps and it'll most likely take place next week, I'm excited but a little concerned about the location of the assignment so hopefully those concerns will be addressed in the interview!

2) I applied to a Peace Corps Response position to spend 6 months in Burkina Faso working as an Engineers Assistant to help a team of engineers rebuild the damage caused by massive floods earlier this year. The down side: this position leaves in December, meaning if i were to get it, I would be home by summer, but I would likely miss Christmas...sorry family!

3) Option 3 is kind of a looser backup plan, and it involves temporarily relocating to Buffalo to look for a job out of a bigger city where I know some people and could have a social life. If I find something amazing there, i'll stay. If it just doesn't feel like its working, I move to Austin TX in a year with my friend Jen after she graduates next December.

4) This is the back up plan for the back up plan, if nothing else works out myself and my friend Becky Fogarty will be throwing a dart at a map and moving wherever it lands, because lets be honest, what other time in my life am i going to have that kind of freedom? I kind of want to make this plan A simply because I can.

So thats where I stand at the moment and in the mean time I'm baking up a storm and trying to sell holiday cookie plates and home made truffles to the greater johnson area to try to support myself through the holiday season, which (if i sell any) will be awesome...because I LOVE to bake!

I'm off again on Sunday for a few days on Cape Cod with my Mummy-Dearest and then home again...I'll keep you all posted on the Peace Corps thing, I honestly think I would have heard by now since it does leave in December but perhaps not, so who knows. Wish me luck!

This is for you Aunt Jen (and you too Mom!)

Hola! Here I am, in Syracuse waiting for my lovely friend to wake from her slumber (ah the joys of being an early riser in your early 20's, out till 2am last night and up at 7:30 this morning while my friend sleeps until 10:30 like a normal human should) so I checked my email and found that people are actually reading this thing, and whats more they want me to write more! So here it is folks...a long awaited update!

As is probably clear by now I am on the first half of a road trip to visit all those kind souls who went out of their way to visit me when I was home in spring because I guilted them all into seeing me with claims that I would not be on American soil again until this time NEXT year...oops. I started with a night in Plattsburgh to see Jen off before her Vagas vacation and to paint a lampshade with pink glitter glue and doodle kittens all over it with Jill. Next I headed to Albany where I had a yummy lunch with Becky (from RPI, I know its hard to keep track of all the Becca's and Becky's in my life) then back on the road to Syracuse where I delivered the silly lampshade to its new owner, Miss Meaghan Gallagher. I stayed last night here and will stay tonight too and then its onward, to Buffalo then Cleveland, and then to be perfectly honest with you, I have not planned the rest...I'll get to it though, life is more interesting with a little spontaneity!

While on this trip I have put the job hunting portion of my life on hold, so as not to get burnt out, because even without my spectacular excel sheet that keeps it all in order for me I know that my rate of applications has peaked and begun falling, I know that I have still applied to only about 35 jobs (only...HA!) with about 20 separately drafted cover letters and several different edits of my resume, and I know that I have still had only 2 phone interviews with any potential, but its been a bit long since I've heard from either of them too...

SO INSTEAD I'm working on networking myself, because I think this is the most important thing I can do at this point in time. I have shared my story with hundreds of trail riders who got lucky enough to be stuck with me as a guide resulting in lots of fabulous advice, reassuring words, and one business card for a company hiring in my field (yes, I did apply). I have handed out resumes to complete strangers (albeit very nice complete strangers) at Irish Fest who just happened to own an environmental engineering firm in Troy, where I went to school. I sent copies of my resume to my grandmothers cousin who's son-in-law works in the environmental field and has generously offered to help me out. I went to RPI alumni weekend and discussed this whole unemployed thing with other members of my graduating class (many of whom are sadly, also unemployed).

So here I go, off on the road, to meet people at other schools, in other fields, and generally share the love. Wish me luck!

And as always, if you hear of anything you send it my way, or if you know someone who knows someone who works in environmental anything and might be willing to help me, send me an address (email or snail mail) and I'll send them the limited-time-only-special-edition-get-shelby-a-job-fun-kit! AND if you or someone you know gets me a job, I will bake you (and your friend) something absolutely decadent and delicious!

oh job hunting...

I'm getting tired of this game, losing momentum and enthusiasm. I've already applied for damn near all the jobs in my field/for my experience level that are out there. When I first started job hunting, and I didn't know how long it would last, I wrote down every position title I applied for. Along with that I kept a description of the duties required, the name of the company the position was with, a little of their history, mission statement, and a few highlights of their major projects. I kept these all in a notebook that I kept with me at all times, just in case I got a call, the call, the one telling me that SOMEONE was interested.

That faded, after a few weeks, nearly 20 jobs applied for, and not a single call. So from there I swapped to an excel sheet, with the location, company, position title, method of application, and date of application, for every job. Now on that same excel sheet I keep a tally of the jobs in the same cities, states, at the same companies, and I keep an updated list of which ones have actively denied me, which ones have not yet responded, and if there has been any other contact with anyone/dates of said contact. That has not improved my results, although potentially that is only because employers don't know that (hey everybody! look how organized I am!!) but for whatever reason that excel sheet now contains 33 missed opportunities and I'm branching out.

I'm looking into photography, but that would require a significant upfront investment (Africa beat the tar outta my camera), writing professionally which would also require a significant investment as most opportunities are scams, baking would be cool, but requires lots of red tape and I've never dealt well with the pressures of health inspections. I'm thinking about writing a cookbook, because I love to bake, love to create my own recipes, and I love to eat yummy things. Course anyone can write a cookbook, and maybe even assemble it and illustrate it, BUT who the heck can SELL one? Not I, thats for sure. Next idea, teach myself a new skill thats marketable, like tech skills or surveying, grant writing or spanish, beer brewing or getting a commercial driver's license. Then I could qualify for a bunch more jobs, but these things would all require a significant investment of time, and life ain't free, so money too.

I guess what it all comes down to is that I need another job for the mean time, because trail guiding is almost over, winter is coming, and there's not a whole lot waiting in the wings in terms of the Job hunt with the capital J...as opposed to this new one I have going on, which starts with a little j.

So really all I have to say is that the grander Job hunt and the less grand, but no less pertinent job hunt continue. Now I'm seeking ways to connect the two, thus making the results of my job hunt somehow add to my Job hunt in some important way. I have emailed several area engineering firms requesting internships for the winter, with one potentially positive response and one totally negative.

Gotta start somewhere, so here goes...