Unemployed in a Small Town: cookies and big decisions.

I don't know where to start but i'm going to try to spell this all out for whomever still reads this and for myself. Recently, after a few glasses of wine, I got to thinking about what my life would be if I stayed here in Tahoe for another year, like I have been planning on doing for a few weeks now. I made the decision to stay but the anxiety about what I am doing with my life didn't go away; it didn't feel like anything was solved or going away, it felt like I might be making a mistake. Don't get me wrong, I love it here and it is quite possibly the most beautiful place I have ever been in my entire life, but it just doesn't feel quite like the right fit. I love my friends and of course potlucks are amazing, work is going well and I know I would have been content with another year at the conservancy BUT I feel like thats what happens to everyone here...once you get here its easier to stay and barely scrape by money-wise, and make do with the work and social life that you have instead of going in search of better because it is so beautiful here that its intoxicating. When I go out and look at the mountains and the lake I can't believe I would ever leave this place, its truly an artist's and a photographer's dream! The only problem is thats its just not me, I just don't fit, and how long am I going to put up with feeling like a square peg in a round hole because its easy and pretty and because so many others feel that same way and have put up with it for years? I'm a woman of action and when things start to get uncomfortable or less meaningful or no longer ideal I do something about it. I'm not going to wait for things to become meaningless or even painful before I go, the idea is to leave yourself wanting more, not less. So its goodbye Tahoe for me, because I do love it here, but thats not enough anymore. Now when I have a few glasses of wine I feel no anxiety, its sad that I'm going, and I'll miss everyone here terribly, but I know I'm doing what I need to do and I'm blazing a new path and and seeking out new experiences...and it feels right. This is what I do, I keep looking until I find just what I want and then I go for it, its who I am, young and completely free, following my heart. It feels right.

Sooooooooo with that said I will be peacing out of beautiful South Lake Tahoe come mid-February and hitting the dusty trail on a second epic cross country road trip...to visit friends and new cities and find out just where I want to go next. Last night I baked cookies and this morning I got up to watch the sunrise, its time to start living up my last days here. So here are my cookies, Ultimate High Altitude Chocolate Chip Cookies from this recipe, which came out great because I used a high altitude recipe (it'll be pretty sweet to be able to just bake things again, without fear of collapse or oily mess...). Here are the resulting cookies:

Yayyyy cookies! I have tons of them now, even though I made them HUGE soooo if you are in South Lake Tahoe and you want a cookie or 2 gimme a call and i'll be happy to share!

This morning Matt and I got up at 6:30 to go watch the sunrise at the upper truckee marsh, it was so beautiful but not the best viewing spot, so perhaps tomorrow we'll look for a better one. Anyway here are my favorite shots from this morning, not bad but I'm still getting used to my new camera and I'm pretty sure I can do better...so stay tuned, I'll definitely be taking more photos in my final weeks here because I want to take as much of the beauty with me as i can!